A church wedding is important but the reception is the real focus of the event. That is the community celebration. There may be 100 or 150 people at the wedding, but there will be several hundred at the reception. Wedding dates are set according to the availability of the desired reception hall. Preparations for the reception begin months in advance. The wedding committee is a must for any Malawian wedding; it works tirelessly on all the details, from the decorations to the entrance of the families and finally of the couple and the order of gift giving. All protocol must be observed, so within the committee are assigned protocol officers. They are to be certain to recognize the highest ranking persons in order. The DJ must be carefully coached on family dynamics and work relationships as he calls groups forward to give their gifts and to dance with money for the couple. This is an important task. Tellers must be selected, trustworthy people to handle the money given in the dancing and to make the correct exchange for those wanting smaller bills to toss at the couple during the dancing. If all of this is done correctly, the reception is certain to be a success, unless it rains.
That is what happened Saturday. The deputy session clerk’s daughter got married at Limbe CCAP. Rev. Bona and I officiated. There were about 200 at the wedding, which was conducted at 8 a.m. As is tradition, the couple left the church after some photos to take more photos at a scenic spot selected in advance and then went to a family member’s home for lunch and counseling from the closest relatives. The reception was scheduled to begin about 1 p.m. In Malawi, that means that things would get underway about 2 p.m. So I hosted a group that came to my home about noon and didn’t worry about being late for the reception. I had plenty of time. But just as I was preparing to leave, the heavens opened and the rain came in torrents. I waited out the rains, as apparently did many others who were going to the reception. When the rains stopped, I gathered up my things and headed to the party. The reception hall was at the end of a kilometer long dirt road that is usually kept smooth, but the rains altered that. I got about ¼ of a kilometer down the road and cars in front of me were turning around. The driver immediately in from of me told me that the road was washed out ahead. The rains had formed a flowing river that cars could not cross. The only option was to park at this point on the muddy road and walk to the reception. Someone was there to help people across the impromptu river.
I sat thinking. I wanted to go to the reception, first to honor the deputy session clerk and his family and then for the joy of the event. I had my money all ready for dancing. This was the first social event I was able to attend since my surgery. But to walk ¾ of a kilometer on a rough muddy road was violating the doctor’s instruction for the hip’s healing – no rough roads for 6 more weeks. I was debating when one of my church members came along side the car, walking. She greeted me and said, “You’re not thinking of walking that are you, Abusa?” She was my conscience. She offered to take my gift to the family and extend my greetings. I knew she was right, and so reluctantly I handed her the envelop with my gift in it and thanked her for your kindness. Then I carefully turned the car around and headed in what seemed to be the wrong way on a one way street. At least 15 cars were making their way into parking spots on this one lane road so the occupants could hike to the reception. I carefully maneuvered past them and out to the main road. There several others who had assessed the situation were turning around, rather than entering the muddy path. I drove home, discouraged and a bit embarrassed to have been stopped by a bit of rain – how unMalawian.
Yesterday at church I made my personal apologies to the family. The deputy session clerk said that there were many people who had made the same decision. The reception was much small then anticipated because of the road conditions. I felt sad to think that all that planning had been foiled by rains. But the family was buoyant and appreciative of all the support. After all, this is Malawi and these sorts of things happen. The thing to do is make the best of it. They had and had a wonderful time, regardless of the size of the gathering.
No comments:
Post a Comment